You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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