i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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