respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize