There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
