your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
