she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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