you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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