My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
