How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
