yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
