In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize