South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
