People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
