Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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