Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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