he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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