I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
