3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
