Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?