did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
