Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wrigley field is MILF paradise
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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