You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize