This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
