Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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