"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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