Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You are a genius and a whore.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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