Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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