I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
