yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
