you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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