I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we have pet lesbian snakes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
