before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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