shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
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