WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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