He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
