WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize