Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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