I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
