I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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