i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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