We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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