he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
