Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This baby is an asshole
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
