So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
