Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
