my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
