I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
