Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
