I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize