dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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