You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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