All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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