He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize