from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
