I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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