Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
