she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???