Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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