Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
